Since retiring and moving from where I was born and had grown up from for fifty years, I am bored lonely and at times living in another world that am not use to. Is all country life like this. or retirement? I hit fifty and I have gained weight. out of boredom I eat. out of lonelness I eat. After losing weight the first time at 40 , from 247 pounds down to 155 now back to it, it is harder this time,. plus I have no where I can, I live on a highway, I can walk it, there is a bike route, so walking it would give me a nice walk, but walking it myself and in the country. am not sure of myself and what I may walk across as I do it, what little socalizing I have done ,hearing some of them say that there may not be things I would like to walk into or come apound, all excuses I give myself, my husband wants to pay to go to a gym. money was don't have, also something I have started to worry about, there isn't enough money like when I was working I could spend now I have to watch every penny. filing a chapter 13 because we or I have gone behind on my bills. Yet this is that dream I so wanted or replayed in my head as I came to be old enought to have a dream.Have to have faith and believe that everying will come to past and trust the outcome, I have started reading the bible, I had found one that my mother had, am not sure if this is my grandmothers bible or where my mother got this, the cover looks worn and the pages have started to fall from the binding. And it difficult to read the print is small and reading I need to take off my glasses to bring the pages close enough to read it, if I don't have my contract in, use my reading glasses. Time is everything and life is what we make it. Keep your hope and faith, don't let things get you down.
I have found that being here, you have a sense of just being, There isn't much you can do, you sit and think, I have started a garden, I wonder how well it will be, if I can maintain it while it all here for me to take care of. I think more of Mitch, my friend and gardener friend who started me on this quest. I mean it was always in me I loved sitting in the grass, on running bare foot in the wet mud, of the newly turned over garden, now that I Am older I can't see myself doing to much barefooted. as my feet of gotten every trender and just walking on my bare floors with out my slippers have become a noticed. Days become weeks then become months rolling by. very little changes . time time that is all we have ,.
